December 12, 2024

Episode #140: Volunteer Performance Issues – How to (Finally) Have that Chat! 

In this episode of the Volunteer Nation Podcast, Tobi discusses practical strategies for addressing volunteer performance issues. She introduces a structured approach called the ‘Great Communications Model’ and emphasizes the importance of setting clear boundaries, using authority correctly, and maintaining focus on organizational mission.  

This episode also includes tips for handling difficult dialogues and ensuring accountability, making it an essential guide for volunteer leaders! 

Volunteer Performance – Episode Highlights

  • [00:30] – Addressing Volunteer Performance Issues 
  • 02:07] – Overcoming Fear and Setting Boundaries 
  • [03:52] – The Role of a Volunteer Leader 
  • [08:21] – Tips for Effective Conversations 
  • [14:05] – Introducing the Great Communications Model 
  • [25:52] – Diagnosing Performance Issues 
  • [31:06] – Final Tips and Conclusion 

Volunteer Performance – Quotes from the Episode

“Volunteers don’t expect you to be their best friend. They expect you to run an effective mission-based program where their work can have the greatest impact.” 

About the Show

Nonprofit leadership author, trainer, consultant, and volunteer management expert Tobi Johnson shares weekly tips to help charities build, grow, and scale exceptional volunteer teams. Discover how your nonprofit can effectively coordinate volunteers who are reliable, equipped, and ready to help you bring about BIG change for the better.

If you’re ready to ditch the stress and harness the power of people to fuel your good work, you’re in exactly the right place!

Contact Us

Have questions or suggestions for the show? Email us at wecare@volpro.net.

Rate, Review, & Follow Us on Apple Podcasts

If you love the content Tobi shares on the Volunteer Nation podcast, consider rating and reviewing the show! This helps us reach more people – and help more good causes just like yours – successfully engage enthusiastic, dedicated volunteers with less stress and more joy.

Click here, scroll to the bottom, tap to rate with five stars. Then, select “Write a Review” and let us know what you loved most about this episode!

Also, if you haven’t done so already, follow the podcast so you don’t miss a thing. Follow now!

Subscribe to ProNews: Our Weekly Resource Roundup

If you’d like to stay up to date on all new podcasts, blogs, freebies, and deals posted on our Tobi Johnson & Associates and VolunteerPro websites, subscribe to our weekly ProNews newsletter.

Every Wednesday, we’ll send you a digest of our freshest content, plus a bonus! Once you confirm your subscription, you’ll get our [Free eBook] The New Volunteer Manager: The First 90 Days.

Episode #140 Transcript: Volunteer Performance Issues – How to (Finally) Have that Chat! 

Tobi: Well, hello, everybody. Welcome to another episode of the volunteer nation podcast. This is Tobi Johnson. And today I want to talk about how to finally have that chat you need to have with someone about their volunteer performance. We have volunteer performance issues happening with some of the folks we work with and often, we’ll push it or sweep it under the rug because we’re just feeling too tired to have the conversation, too stressed to have the conversation, or too afraid to have the conversation. 

I think it really is about fear most of the time. Not many of us love to have I’d love to deal with conflict. It’s tough. It makes us feel not great. And if we’ve tried to have conversations with folks in the past and they haven’t worked out well, either you haven’t been comfortable, you felt awkward, the other person didn’t change their behavior in the way that they needed to, any of those reasons can kind of put us off trying to tackle compassionate communications but also setting boundaries with volunteers. And so today I wanted to give you a framework that I teach my volunteer pro members and our volunteer management fundamental students around how to have this conversation, how to really manage volunteer performance with conversations that are compassionate, open, candid, but also set some limits on what’s acceptable.  

So, if you break out in a cold sweat when you think about having to have these conversations with people, or you’re sweeping things under the carpet and there’s somebody you’ve got to have that chat with, I’m hoping today will give you the courage. 

I want you to also ask yourself, because sometimes we make excuses for why we’re not stepping up to the plate to have these conversations. We’ll say things to ourselves like, if I ignore it, it’s not that big of a deal, it’ll go away. Or, you know what, nobody’s really noticing this but me. Or if I confront this, someone is going to blow their top and it’s going to get worse. 

Or if I confront this, the entire volunteer team will quit. Or, you know what, this really doesn’t have that big of an impact on anybody else. Or, you know what, you can’t fire people who’ve been elected, for example, so people on your boards or other elected positions. Or, just, I don’t want to seem like I’m uncaring or a mean person. 

People in the volunteer business are people, people at heart, most of us. And we want to be there for our volunteers, and we want to be volunteer centric. But we also need to set limits and be the leader that our volunteers need. You’re, you have a position as a leader and by the way if you have others who need to have these conversations in your organization with their volunteers, if there are volunteer performance issues in other departments and your coworkers are having a hard time having these chats with volunteers, refer them to this episode. 

It’ll probably help them too. But you know, you’ve got to remember that as a volunteer leader or leader of volunteers, you have innate power. Whether you’re paid or unpaid doesn’t really matter. You must get comfortable with the fact that there is power that you hold, and that power is necessary. In certain contexts. 

Now I’m all about grassroots to grass tops, volunteer engagement and community engagement. I like to give sharing power and giving people, uh, a space to have a say in things. There is a time though to use your power for good, and that time is when you are managing people and making sure that you are continuing to have a positive team culture. 

You’re sort of responsible as the leader. You’re responsible for the hygiene, the emotional hygiene of your team. Now, you’re not You’re not responsible for people’s individual emotions, but you are responsible for setting the stage so that people can work together in synergy, so that they can work together to be productive, and so that their work has real impact, because in the end, that’s really what volunteers want. 

And when there are volunteer performance issues, sometimes that productivity and that impact does not, not all of it is, is made real. Right? And so, we want to make sure we’ve got teams that are working well together. And that there’s nobody in the team or group of people in the team that are holding the team back. 

And this means we’ve got to call people out sometimes. And it’s not fun. I’m not telling you it’s fun, but I want to give you a framework today so that you can feel confident but also clear on what your responsibilities are and that you can feel proud of the way that you’re communicating with people around expectations. 

There’s no reason why we can’t be proud of our professionalism and our ability to collaborate with others even when things aren’t going perfectly. And so that’s what we want to try to figure out. So, there’s a lot at stake if you don’t do this. As a leader, as I said, it’s your job to ensure that there’s a positive team synergy, but also you set the tone. 

And when you don’t set the tone, it can impact team morale, volunteer performance, as well as with individuals, and ultimately whether the mission gets met. If you talk to any volunteer and ask them, what does, what is a best-in-class leader of volunteer? What do they look like? What characteristics do they have? 

And I’m a volunteer, and I will tell you, I really enjoy having leaders who are, are professional that know what they’re doing. And you’ll hear people say things like professional, fair, honest, clear, effective, organized, compassionate, and consistent. Those are words that people will use to describe best in class leaders of volunteers. 

And so, we can be all these things, but when we are using the framework, I’m going to share today, volunteers don’t expect you to be their best friend. They expect you to run an effective mission-based program where their work can have the greatest impact. And again, it doesn’t matter if you’re a paid leader of volunteers or an unpaid leader of volunteers, people expect the same. 

And so again, as a leader, it’s your job to ensure that and set the tone for a place that people enjoy working. And most importantly, we’re where they can make a meaningful difference. And the more people work together in a team and the more expectations are met, the more often that meaning is made, and that mission is accomplished. 

So, let’s take a quick break, but I also want, and I want to share with you, just note that Volunteer Nation episode 126, I talk about eight ways to empower, not rescue nonprofit employees and volunteers.And so, there’s additional information there on setting those limits and boundaries with people. So, you might want to listen to that episode as well. 

I’ll post it in the show notes. Let’s start with just some tips on having this conversation, having that conversation that you’ve been putting off forever and ever. Before you start planning to have that conversation, it is important to ask yourself, what part do I play in the current situation? 

In most cases, especially when we are supervising others, we have some part to play in the results we’re getting. It could be that we placed the wrong volunteer in the wrong role. It could be that the training wasn’t up to par. It could be that we aren’t checking in regularly. There’s always something that we can do to improve performance. 

Now we’re not responsible ultimately for the choices other people make, but we can set the stage for them to be successful. So, it’s always important before we have these conversations to just take a minute and think, is there anything I’m doing that I could do differently? Volunteers really appreciate honesty, and that’s something you can bring to the table. 

I’d like to do better at XYZ to help you be successful. People appreciate that. The other thing is you want to take control of the situation by starting the conversation. So, sometimes we don’t have all the information, and we don’t start the conversation because we’re not sure of the facts, because we’re hearing hearsay from different people. 

And I will say, given your position as a leader of volunteers, it’s almost impossible for you to be there at every place, witnessing every interaction, and so there are gonna be many times where other people are re reporting to you about volunteer performance issues when people report that you need to take down as much information as you can get as much of the facts as you can, because you’re going to present these to that volunteer when you’re having a coaching meeting with them. 

And so, you have to kind of get over the fact that you’re not going to be able to be a firsthand witness to every volunteer performance issue. It’s just not possible. So, you know, maybe people are seeing things differently. This conversation that I’m going to share with you, this framework, will allow you to have that conversation and get feedback from your volunteer. 

All right, I also think before you have this conversation, you should feel free to be honest about your feelings and the real consequences of their lack of performance. So, the lack of volunteer performance can have all kinds of impacts, as I’ve said, can have impacts on morale and teamwork. Whether or not things get done properly, the clients you serve, there’s lots of impacts. 

And so, we need to be clear about that. So, when you’re having a conversation and you’re setting yourself up to have this conversation, think about what the real consequences of this lack of volunteer performance in this situation are. You can also be honest about your feelings about having these conversations. 

I think it’s okay to have a conversation with someone and say to them when you kick off the conversation. Hey, you know what? These aren’t my favorite conversations to have, but I have enough respect for you and your work and enough respect for our organization and the people we serve that I think it’s worth letting you know that there’s a problem and I want to bring it up to you. 

Do you see how that isn’t blaming? It’s just stating facts, and it’s also stating how you feel. Now, we don’t want to be completely drama queens about this. Uh, like, I feel completely horrible. This has kept me up at night. We don’t need to go there, even if it has. Sometimes these issues do keep us up at night occasionally. 

But this is not what we want to share, but we do, we can share that. It’s not our favorite thing to do and that you’re hoping and your hope for the conversation. It’s another thing you can share, and I really hope that in this conversation that we can come to an agreement so that everybody can move forward productively. 

And so, it’s just a way to preface the conversation so people aren’t on, so aren’t on the defense. Because that’s not what we want in this kind of situation. So, let’s take a quick break. And after this break, we’re going to take this, take a break from our discussion of volunteer performance issues. And after the break, I’m going to give you a fantastic model for managing volunteer performance through the great communications model. And it, it’s, it’s fantastic. And it’s super step by step. So, pull out a piece of paper and a pen, and I will be right back after the break.  

Volunteer Pro Premium Membership 

If you’re enjoying this week’s episode of Volunteer Nation, we invite you to check out the Volunteer Pro Premium Membership. This community is the most comprehensive resource for attracting, engaging, and supporting dedicated, high impact volunteers. Volunteer talent for your good cause. Volunteer Pro Premium Membership helps you build or renovate an effective volunteer program with less stress and more joy. 

So, you can ditch the overwhelm and confidently carry your vision forward. And it’s the only implementation program of its kind that helps your organization build maturity across five phases of our proprietary system, the volunteer strategy success path. If you’re interested in learning more, visit volpro.net/join 

Okay, we’re back from our break and I’m going to continue my conversation about volunteer performance issues. Specifically, I want to give you a framework called the Great Communications Model on how to have a conversation with a volunteer who’s not living up to expectations. And again, we’re going to have compassionate clear, timely, I hope, conversation with volunteers when these issues crop up. 

But, if you’ve been sweeping something under the rug, it’s time to get over your fears, use this model, have some courage, and have that conversation, because it really is impacting other people. I remember managing some, and having some difficult conversations with volunteers, and having other volunteers come up to me later and say, you know what, I’m so happy you said something because it’s been driving us crazy. 

People notice things and you are sort of the referee in some respects of your volunteers. And your volunteer teams. And if you, even if you are placing volunteers in other departments, it’s not always your job to manage each and every volunteer, if that’s the case. But you do set the tone. And this conversation model can be used with paid staff as well. 

It works both with volunteers and paid staff. So, let’s get into this. And again, this is something I teach my volunteer pro members. And when I teach it, I, all I see, I really see with people. And when I teach it in person at some of my speaking events, what I see in people is they just, you know, Let out a sigh. 

They let out the air that they’ve been holding because they feel so responsible, but they don’t know what to do. And so, I want to give you a simple model so you’re not holding your breath, you’re not brushing stuff under the carpet, you’re not feeling guilty, that you’re unable to solve something now. 

We’re not going to be solving things for anybody. In this, using this great communications model, we’re going to be offering options and we’re going to be making asks. It is the volunteer’s responsibility to make a choice and decide about how they want to react and how they want to move forward. 

You will have consequences for them if they don’t meet expectations, but we’re not here to fix other people with these conversations either. I think that’s something really important. That’s an important distinction. When we’re having conversations with folks about performance issues, we’re not there to fix them. 

We’re there to deal with an issue. To offer options, maybe even to co-produce together a solution, and have them decide about whether they want to make a change. And if they don’t, then, hey, your organization may not be the right organization. And you know what? That’s okay. We don’t need to be guilty about that. 

We’re our number one job. It’s going to be difficult for people to hear, but I’m going to say it anyway. Our number one job is not volunteer satisfaction. Our number one job is our mission. There’s a distinction there. Our number one job is our mission. Now, of course, to meet our mission, we need to have satisfied and productive volunteers and a productive workforce in general. 

But the number one job is the mission. And sometimes if a volunteer is not contributing to that mission and they’re unhappy because you’re letting them go or dismissing them, then you know what? That’s if the mission is being impacted negatively, then you’ve got to always choose the mission. The mission is foremost. 

And I think if you speak to volunteers about this, they will understand that. That’s why they joined your organization in the first place, because they care about your mission. And so, if you keep these conversations mission focused, it also helps volunteers get on board. So, let’s jump into this. The great communications model for managing volunteer performance. 

And it goes like this. Step one, when you’re, you sit down, and you have a conversation. Now, this conversation needs to be planned, and you need to have it in a private area. I would not do this on the fly. So, Standing up. There are certainly ways to coach on the fly and give people corrective or confirming feedback on the fly, but this is not that kind of conversation. 

This is a conversation where someone has a serious performance issue where they are not meeting expectations on a consistent basis. This is not a one time I’m coaching on this one thing. This is a, this is when you’re dealing with that chronic performance issue. So, let’s talk about how you have this conversation. 

You’ve set aside conversation. You have a private room. It may help, depending on your team culture and how you feel about this volunteer, it may help to have a colleague with you. Depends on your level of confidence. It depends on your relationship with that volunteer. It’s entirely up to you. But if you would feel more comfortable with another person in the room. 

All right. So, the first step is to talk about goals. Before you even talk about performance, you want to reiterate and ground everybody in the goals that you’re there to, to meet. So, you talk about how their volunteer role relates to the organization’s goals and mission. You talk about any unmet goals or unmet expectations. 

It might be around timeline, it might be around attitude, it might be around the quality of performance, it might be around not following protocol. Those are some common reasons why there’s a differentiation between the expectations and what volunteers are doing. And attitude is something you can coach on and have these conversations about. 

But if you’re going to talk about attitude, you need to translate that into behavior. It can’t just be, I think you have a bad attitude. It must be, you’re not welcoming our guests when they come to the front desk with a smile. You’re never acknowledging people. That’s a behavior. It’s not about attitude per se, it’s really about the behavior. 

So that’s just important. So, we sit down, we talk about the goals of their role. We talk about anything that’s unmet, that, that these goals are not being met. And just kind of a quick overview, we’re having a conversation about this just to help people understand where you’re at. The second step, and I love this step because it gives you confidence to keep going forward and it imbues you with authority and you need, again, authority has gotten a bad rap, and but there are times where authority is necessary from a leadership perspective. 

One time it’s very necessary to use authority is to create a fair playing field. Using your authority is good when someone’s impacting everybody’s morale or productivity. That’s a good time to step in and say, and I think a perfectly acceptable time to step in and use your power. So, power can be used for good. 

There’s also lots of times where it’s not used for good. But in this case, we’re talking about using your power to help coach someone so that not only you, your organization can be more effective, but that they can be more effective along with their team members. So, we will talk about roles next. Once we talk about goals, the goals of their role and how it’s, something’s not being met, we talk about it again and again, when we talk about goals, it’s very sort of top line. 

We’re going to talk in more detail in a minute, but the second step is to talk about roles, and you want to define your role and their role. And this is where I think it gives us confidence because we can say, look, as the director of volunteers, it’s my job to make sure that our volunteer workforce and our talent pool is is equipped to help meet our mission and that our teams are working well together. 

That might be something that you say, something like that, where you’re talking about, look, it’s my responsibility to make sure that we’re all working together and we’re getting the work done. So, you also want to talk about your role. Your role as a volunteer was to step up, or is to step up, and this is, this is the role that you volunteered for. 

And in an ideal world, when you’re in this role as a volunteer, and then you describe how that role would work ideally. Okay, so you describe what’s expected in that role. If there’s specific behaviors, for example, I gave the example of someone having a quote unquote bad attitude, and that translates to not being warm and welcoming to our visitors at the front desk, then it might be, and in your role, your role is to give a warm welcome to acknowledge each visitor as soon as they come to the front desk to stop what we’re doing, give them eye contact, make a smile, something like that, right? So, we’re describing in some tangible terms what behavior looks like. Now, in expectations, in step three, you talk about a grade. So, G was goals, R was roles, E was expectations. You describe the actions that you need to observe, and you talk about what they’ve been doing as opposed to what you need them to do. 

You talk about the gaps in performance, and you talk about, and you compare that and contrast that with what’s expected, right? And you’ve talked a little bit about that in the roles in step two, but in step three, we talk about expectations. Now, there’s a certain way to talk about expectations that I really think is helpful and it also helps our volunteers save face.  

So that is, I would like to describe both satisfactory performance and outstanding performance. And that gives a volunteer an opportunity to save face by saying, okay, I haven’t been doing this up to snuff, fine. Now I’m going to, I’m going to turbocharge and I’m going to do it. And I’m going to go to the outstanding level. 

So, I no longer feel shame. Now we’re not trying to bring about shame in people. We’re trying to bring about clear conversation about expectations. And so, in the case of someone having a bad attitude at the front desk, we might say, at minimum, we’d like each guest to be greeted with a smile, with eye-to-eye conversation, and to help check them in, right? 

An outstanding performance might look like if someone seems lost in the hallway, that you will walk them to the room or the place they’re trying to get to. See what, see what I’m saying now, this may or may not apply to your specific volunteer role or volunteer, but you can see how I’m describing two different levels. 

And so here we’re giving the volunteers a choice and they can choose either and either is the right answer. Right? Either is the right answer. So already you’re giving volunteers an opportunity to be a winner, right? They get to choose. Either way they choose, direction they choose, they can be a winner. 

Now, if they choose poor performance and continue to choose poor performance, then that’s a choice too. Okay? So, we had goals, roles, and expectations for GRE in our great communications model. Abilities is the fourth step. And I like to figure out and diagnose why someone is not performing. And so, I will describe what’s happening and the behavior I’m seeing, and sometimes I won’t say anything. 

And I’ll just be quiet for a minute and see what they say. Because often people already know, they recognize they’re not working up to snuff. They recognize that. And so, they will often say and tell why it’s happening. And they will give you excuses. And these excuses may be completely valid. So, it’s important for us to listen, right? 

You might, and if people aren’t sharing that, you might ask, so tell me about this. What’s getting in your way? And so, we’re trying to diagnose three different reasons why someone is not performing. The first reason is they don’t know. So, they just don’t know how to do it. They haven’t been trained, nobody’s given, they don’t have the information, they just don’t know, or they’ve forgotten. 

Right? The second reason someone might not perform up to expectations is that they can’t do it. No matter how hard they try, they can’t do it. They just don’t have the, the, um, skill set. And that happens. Sometimes it happens with software, computer software. Sometimes it happens with people’s inner, um, personal skills. 

It just, for different reasons, people can’t do it no matter what. And then, the third reason people don’t meet expectations sometimes is that they won’t do it. They willfully do not choose to do what you’re asking. So those three different diagnoses will mean a different thing for you as the supervisor. 

If someone doesn’t know how to do something, you can offer training and support and coaching. If someone can’t do something, you’ve got to figure out would more training allow them to be able to build the capacity, or is another volunteer role a better choice? If they decide willfully, I don’t and won’t do this, then it’s either this isn’t the right role for you, or this isn’t the right organization for you, depending on what the performance issue is. 

So, at the, that, the fourth step of abilities, you’ve got to figure out what is their capacity, what are their abilities? And then you can start to set an improvement plan based on what you learn, right? So, the final and fifth phase of this conversation, and it doesn’t always go exactly step by step. 

Some things might happen before others, might be more free flowing, but you want to cover all these pillars. So G for goals, R for roles. E for expectations, A for abilities, and T for time. Now, the deadline is just when’s the deadline for improvement. When should you see the issues in volunteer performance improved? 

And when will you check in about that improvement? So often the mistake people make is they have this conversation with whoever about a performance expectation and they say, okay, we agree this needs to be improved. Go on your merry way. Nice to see you. Thank you for listening and thank you for listening to me. 

We aren’t asking for accountability though. We’ve shared with people the responsibility that they’ve signed up for, but we haven’t created. An accountability check. And so, we need to set up another meeting for a status update. And so, once you have an improvement plan, and I would write it down, it doesn’t have to be something really complicated, but I would write it down and say, so when should we meet again to see whether this improvement has happened? 

And then you might also recommend resources, human and otherwise, maybe it’s other people they should talk to, or there’s certain training they should go through, or something they should read. So, I will write it down. that they can tap to help with them with their performance. At the end, it’s all about time. 

It’s about when we are going to meet again to review your performance. Now, at this point, is also time to talk about the consequences. And I am a huge fan of about three conversations, and then after that, there’s a real problem. And it’s either a reassignment to another role or finding another organization, depending on the situation. 

There’s a point where you’re having the same conversation repeatedly. Things are not going to change. And I think three conversations is probably plenty. Um, the first conversation is usually not very like the great communications model. The first conversation is usually very informal. And the volunteers put on notice that, hey, there’s something going on here. 

And so, I would not continue to have meeting after meeting after meeting because it’s not going to change. So, that’s a great communications model. So, it’s goals, roles, expectations, abilities, and time. Now, a few more tips for you as we wrap up this session on this episode on the podcast. 

First, again, just a reminder to give concrete examples of behavior. Don’t use judgments of people’s character or any words that suggest a character. flaw or character trait because that’s just people are who they are, right? Behavior is different. So, for example, you wouldn’t say, I feel like you don’t care about our organization. 

That’s a character judgment and you have no idea whether they care about your organization. But you can say things like, look, you’ve missed three shifts in the last month. That’s behavior based. Now, we may assume or infer that that means they don’t care about our organization, but it could be something completely different. 

It could be they have a family member who’s been in the hospital. It could be that they are stressed out because of finals at school. There’s lots of reasons why they might have missed. shifts. So, we need to know what the reason is, and we don’t want to assume things about people’s character. We don’t read minds and so we shouldn’t try to. 

Usually when we talk about behavioral, you’ve missed three shifts over the last month, then I would stop and pause and not say anything and wait for that volunteer to, to talk about why that is. Make sure you make direct requests from people about what behavior needs to change. Might be, we’re going to need you not to miss any more shifts. 

Or call us at least three days in advance or email us at least three days in advance. You also don’t want to have these conversations, as I said earlier, you don’t want to have these conversations in public. You want to have them in a private space. If you don’t have a private space, if you’re working in a cubicle, then book a meeting room somewhere. 

Um, or go out to have a cup of coffee away from the office, wherever, whatever makes, makes sense in your organization. I think, uh, having coffee depends on your relationship with that, that volunteer. If you’re, I think you’d be better off probably for this level of communication to have it in a conference room or in an office because it sort of gives a certain kind of gravitas. 

Because these conversations aren’t the ones you’re having regularly with your volunteers. Empathize to diffuse and deflect anger. You can call out how people are acting. You can say, I can see why you’re angry if they say, I am angry. Or you can say, it looks like you’re angry. It seems like you’re angry. 

Is that correct? You don’t want to say that unless people say they’re angry, you don’t want to say what they’re, you think their emotions are, but you can ask. You can listen to a volunteer’s point of view. Everybody has a right to their own point of view. So, that doesn’t mean that they’re wrong about how angry they are, or frustrated, or, uh, embarrassed, or whatever they are. 

Those are their feelings, and everyone has a right to their own feelings. That doesn’t mean, however, that you need to compromise on your organization’s standards. Just because someone has anger, or is experiencing anger, doesn’t mean that your standards need to waver. necessarily. Now, if you feel that your standards are over, overly stringent, then I would not make that compromise in that meeting. 

I would go out, I would talk to your supervisor, talk to others, and decide if there needs to be a change made. But that’s not happening in this negotiation, aside from what the improvement’s going to look like, and in what time frame, and even that is probably not under negotiation at this point. So, you, you should show your power but not threaten people. 

So, we don’t want to say things like, if you don’t do X, Y, Z, I’m not going to do X, Y, Z. Or, we’re going to have to dismiss you if you don’t do X, Y, Z. You can say things that are a little bit softer. Like, I’d hate to have to change your involvement, or I’d hate to have to dismiss you from this role, or I’d hate to have to reassign you. 

It depends on what the consequence is. Rather than saying, if you don’t do this, I’m going to fire you. You see the difference in tone? That tone means a lot. And you can soften things a little bit when you’re talking about consequences. I’m not saying don’t talk about consequences. I’m saying be careful about how you do it. 

Um, and then the last thing. is make sure you have the last word. And so, in the conversation, you can, you can say, thank you for coming in. I’m, I’m happy. I’m grateful that we were able to have this conversation or if people are getting angry and want to storm out, just say, I hope you’ll reconsider. Or let’s check back. 

And if people have, or, it’s not often that people get overly angry, but some people do. There are people who blow their top. And if they’re not verbally abusive or physically abusive to you, you can sit there and just tell people. If they are yelling, you can tell them, hey, that’s not, that’s not something we do around here. 

If you want, we can reschedule this if you want to come back when you can, when you’ve calmed down and we can continue. I don’t think yelling is, is a productive conversation. It’s not leading to a productive conversation. And so, you can stop this conversation and not complete it at the current time. If a volunteer seems overly emotional, you can do that and it’s okay. 

You don’t have to finish the conversation by any means necessary. Okay. That’s not compassionate, right? And people get upset about things. But most of the time, that’s not how this conversation goes. Most of the time, it, it goes in a way where the volunteer does want to do a good job. And so, you’re trying to figure out why they’re not performing and what support they need to get back on track. 

Those are the two, two goals. And that they can continue to feel like a contributing member. These conversations are not easy at the beginning, but practice does make perfect. And you can write down these steps in the great communications model. You can write it down on a legal pad and refer to it during your conversation. 

You can bring notes. to your meeting. You can talk about what other people have mentioned or what you’ve heard about behaviors of this volunteer, but don’t name names and don’t engage in just idle gossip. Just say, folks have brought it, some people have brought it to my attention, these specific instances, and just tell them the instances. 

We don’t need to name names. 

We don’t need to get into that. But you can get better at this. You can, it will become easier and easier as you do it. And so, if you lean into clear, compassionate communications when volunteer performance issues arise, you will be seen as that fair, compassionate, clear, consistent leader that all volunteers want to follow. 

So, I hope this has been helpful. If you want to learn more about effective volunteer management, there’s another Volunteer Nation episode. It’s episode 105. And it’s called Seven Habits of Highly Effective Volunteer Managers.And one of the first habits is setting good boundaries. And part of this, that’s what it’s about. 

It’s about setting boundaries. And it is such a core part of our work as leaders of volunteers. We want to set the table. Through our volunteer management practices, where volunteers can give their very best, and then we want to make sure that at that table, when they’re having a meal together, that they are treating each other with respect, and they are meeting expectations. 

So, I hope this has been super helpful. If you feel like there’s somebody else in your organization who’s struggling to have conversations and maybe they’ve been brushing one or two of those under the rug, share this episode with them and maybe it will help them as well. All right, everybody. Those are my words for this week. 

I will be here same time, same place next week on the Volunteer Nation. Take care, everybody.